The Both/And Logic to Help Us See the Truth
I kept hearing, “this isn’t America”. But wait, isn't it?
A fiery sunrise over Lake Michigan.
Since the insurrection by white supremacists and the attack on democracy on Wednesday, January 6, 2021, I've been thinking. A lot.
What has been replaying over and over in my mind are the sentiments I kept hearing - across party lines - that what we were witnessing did not represent the true America. President-Elect Joe Biden’s response to the awfulness of the day included: “The scenes of chaos at the Capitol do not reflect a true America. Do not represent who we are.”
Along with so many others, I was angry and disgusted at what happened last Wednesday. However, to me, the viewpoint of “this is not America” disregards the hate, violence, racism, and white supremacy that our country was founded on, with those actions still continuing today, because that is America.
So, I continued to think.
Will there ever be a day when Americans (speaking mostly to us white folks) acknowledge, admit and fully realize the truth of our nation’s history? When will we see with clarity, honesty and compassion how the systems of oppression and racism have tragically harmed, and continue to harm, communities and people of color? Can we see how these systems have allowed white power and privilege to grow and intensify resulting in the attacks and deaths at the U.S. Capitol on Wednesday?
I want to believe we can, but how do we get there? Are there practices we can explore to help us begin to see and hold space for the truth? More questions, more thinking.
Through my therapy, I’ve been exploring the both/and logic (PS: therapy - along with yoga, meditation, and running - has been an amazing routine in my self-care; highly recommend it if it’s something you’re considering!). The both/and way of thinking invites us to hold awareness of multiple truths to help us expand our understanding.
Coming off the heels of the chaos last week, both/and could look like:
There was an attack on democracy and the peaceful transfer of power AND there was an abhorrent insurrection against the U.S. capitol by white supremacists.
Some may have been painfully shocked in that moment AND others may have had to relive the pain they and their families and ancestors felt their entire lives.
Right now in this current moment, you might be feeling exhausted and wanting to step away and not talk about racism AND you might be feeling empowered and determined to fight for a better world.
For me, using this lens to look at life, at complex problems, at my own thoughts and emotions allows me to hold space for multiple viewpoints while loosening my grip on what I think should be happening and what I should be feeling. I’m also able to more clearly see my biases and limited patterns of thinking, which can be an entire practice on its own.
In yoga and meditation, the both/and practice is similar to the practice of mindfulness awareness. In this practice, we notice what arises in the moment with compassion and non-attachment. Without clinging to a thought or pushing others away, we observe, accept, release and allow space to transform. In this space, thoughts and emotions can coexist AND contradict.
I wonder, then, could we use these practices as initial steps to the learning, un-learning and re-learning we need in our society and country?
Full disclosure: these practices do not come easy for me. I continue to stumble my way through them, taking one step forward, and then a few steps back. Yet I believe both/and, as well as mindful awareness, will be needed in the months, years, and decades ahead if we are to dream of and work towards a better future for all. We can hold the space to process Wednesday’s attacks AND celebrate the HUGE wins of newly elected officials that will fight for an equitable America. We can allow ourselves to feel uncomfortable when talking about racism and white supremacy AND feel empowered to create positive change in our communities. We can stay informed AND prioritize our self-care and rest.
Have you used the both/and logic? Do you recommend any practices to help us see and hold space for the truth, recognize our biases and expand our perspectives?
If you have experiences and examples you'd like to share, send me a note - I’d love to learn from and with you. I also highly recommend reading NPR Host Sam Sanders’ powerful thoughts and reflections in The Lies We Tell Ourselves About Race.
Thank you for being here and thank you for reading!
A cooling mid-afternoon with Lake Michigan.